I didn't care.Shit. Jenny must be right. I am a closed book. So if that's the problem, the obvious solution is let myself open up. To get beyond the simple expedient of being 'the boyfriend' and allowing them to see the real me, which is terrifying to contemplate.Why was that such a scary thought? Fear of rejection? Well, I should be used to that by now. Except, I always took comfort in the idea that they weren't really rejecting me, because they didn't really know the 'real' me. They were rejecting my version of 'the boyfriend'.I was slowly realizing, that playing the boyfriend was a dead end, had always been a dead end, and if I ever wanted something like long-term happiness I'd have to be honest with them and myself. I'd have to learn how to be myself, which was a weird thought. I wonder if I could practice somehow. Maybe go out to bars and see what it felt like to 'be myself', I guess.Ugh.Not long after I found out about masturbation, and then the internet, I discovered stories. Do NOT conect to nipples as this will ensure the electricity will go through the heart. Connection for guys are always made to his dick. There are many ways guys use electrosex to cause Orgasms, but they all make connections to his penis. The most sensitive part of the penis is the head so for maximum stimulation usually there is a connection near the head of the penis. This can be a ring around it just where it joins onto the shaft. This will connect with the area that looks like a scar at the top of his cock. This is the areaa that is extremely sensitive, and is almost always stimulated in electrosex. The next most sensitive area extends about three inches inside, so many electrodes on the head have an extension that go two or three inches inside his cock. Often electodes are clamped around his cock at add stimulation to the nerves that are normally stimulated by your hand grasping the cock during masturbation. This will ensure maximum stimulation and a great and long lasting.
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